


Fear of Missing Out

by Zed_Zalias



Series: As Real as You Are [1]
Category: The Hollow (Cartoon)
Genre: (Later on lol), Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Pride, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Male Friendship, Pride, Pride Parades, Self-Discovery, Sexual Confusion, Talking solves everything, This story itself is not shippy but Kai is crushing on Adam the whole time soooooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zed_Zalias/pseuds/Zed_Zalias
Summary: Kai feels like he hasn't seen Adam at all lately. While he detests confrontation, he detests the feeling of missing Adam even more, so he decides to get to the bottom of things. It turns out Adam had a reason — But the fact that he had been worried about something so ridiculous, the fact that he'dactuallyworried Kai would treat him so unfairly, the fact thatanyoneever had before breaks his heart. He's determined to remind Adam just how much he cares about him.
Relationships: Adam/Kai (The Hollow)
Series: As Real as You Are [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813552
Comments: 16
Kudos: 91





	Fear of Missing Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaimcclains (smallcuts)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallcuts/gifts).



> For kaimcclains: Without our keysmash-filled, screaming conversations about this show, I'm sure I never would have written this. You pushed me and reminded me how much I love this show, so thank you for making this possible :D <3

Being a real person trapped in a world of zeroes and ones, Kai had found, could be a really lonely experience sometimes.

When he looked at his parents, all the pixels were in the right place — And they didn't just _look_ the part. When he heard their voices, it was clear that whatever algorithm had translated his memories of his parents into infinitely customizable, true-to-life audio files hadn't missed a beat. Every vocal tic, every breath, and even the facial movements and hand gestures that accompanied them matched his parents perfectly.

And yet there was just something _off_ about every NPC in _The Hollow,_ even the ones who had been created from his memories for the _Hollow Life_ version of the game. It wasn't really unsettling, and he had certainly gotten used to it — But he could tell just by looking into their eyes that they weren't human.

Well — If Weirdy was to be trusted, _Kai_ wasn't exactly human anymore either.

But he was more real than they were, if that counted for anything. He knew this because he could notice a difference, and he figured that if he were on the same level as they were, he wouldn't have been able to tell that there was anything that seemed inorganic about them. Granted, it was nothing he could put his finger on — But it was _there,_ hiding behind their eyes, something that _just didn't live and breathe,_ something that he could never hope to explain. Something he could only _feel_ but not understand, an intuition so human that it was easy for him to forget that he was supposedly just as unreal as they were.

But even if Kai believed Weirdy, which he wasn't really sure he did, there was no denying that he possessed a strong enough sense of self and decent-enough metacognition to pass the Turing Test — Not that there was anyone to administer it to him, save for his _Hollow_ teammates.

Well, they didn't know what the Turing Test _was,_ but Kai figured that was neither here nor there because he could have explained it to them if he needed to! He knew Reeve wouldn't listen, and he knew the others would only _pretend_ to understand, but at least _Adam_ would say something along the lines of, "It's so cool that you know that, Kai! I don't know anything about this sort of thing," and Kai could blush for reasons he didn't understand just like he always did, and then he could wonder why he was blushing just like he always did, and then Adam would tell him that he wasn't breathing, and he'd take a big gulp of air and try to stop his shoulders from shaking for reasons he also didn't understand, and then he'd thank Adam and wonder why that kept happening and maybe forget to breathe all over again.

He didn't really like thinking about that because it was too confusing and too hard to sort out and consisted of too many jumbled-up thoughts to possibly make sense of. Every theory he had was half-formed and only made sense subconsciously. When he tried to explain them to himself, he always realized they didn't really offer any complete solution and abandoned them. So he didn't like thinking about that, and he wasn't going to right now.

What had he been saying? _Oh, right —_ The Turing Test.

The truth was, he didn't _need_ to actually perform the Turing Test on any of his friends. They'd all shared the experience of finishing _The Hollow,_ only to wake up right back inside it, and that was enough for Kai, enough to assure him that they were all real — Er, well, that they were all as real as each other, however real that was.

Unless — _What if they're just like my parents?!_ Kai thought, panic flooding him, flaring up inside him like a great beast, curling around his throat with its all-too-familiar claws. _What if I'm the only real one?!_

But in his mind, he heard Adam's voice, clear as a bell. _"Dude, relax. I think you'd be able to tell if we weren't real."_

And that did calm him down, even though it didn't calm him down as much as Adam's _real_ voice calmed him down. But Adam had said those sorts of things to him so many times that it was _almost_ real, just close enough to keep him grounded.

He liked it when Adam said those things.

He liked it when Adam told him to relax because Adam always said it with a small smile or a little laugh, something to let him know that he didn't actually think Kai was being ridiculous or overreacting, something that made it different than when his parents told him to stop worrying about stupid things, always with a small frown or a disapproving look in the eyes.

Adam didn't do that, and Kai really liked that Adam didn't do that, and Kai really liked being around Adam because he didn't do that.

And Kai was also forgetting to breathe again, which was totally weird and didn't make any sense to him.

Anyway, the Adam in his mind was right. He _would_ have noticed something wrong with the other kids if they'd been any less real than he was, but he hadn't. Every time he interacted with them, he could feel in their words, see in their eyes that they existed on the same plane as he did, whatever plane that was — And that was enough.

He could deal with a world of fake, synthesized people as long as he had his teammates by his side, as long as he knew that there were at least _some_ people who were as real as he was, people who lived in the same crazy reality that he did, people who knew just as well as he did what it was like to look into your parents' eyes and know there's just something... _Off._

But it got lonely sometimes, even with them around — Especially because they often _weren't_ around.

Reeve was... Well, _Reeve._ Kai held no ill will for Reeve and thought he was a genuinely good person, but the older boy was by no means warm and fuzzy in his demeanor. He had mellowed out a lot since they'd accepted their lives inside _Hollow Life,_ and he smiled and laughed now like any ordinary person, but his personality was simply too serious for Kai to be any closer than acquaintances with him. Well... Really, because he and his teammates were the only ones in this world who would ever understand one another, they were all bound to one another with chains stronger than would ever bind most anyone else, and Kai knew that. But _relative_ to the rest of his teammates, Reeve was just a bit too different from Kai for them to really hit it off. They got along well in a group, but they probably wouldn't feel compelled to hang out with only each other.

Kai felt like he and Vanessa had a great relationship, but the problem was _defining_ it. Kai had liked Vanessa — _Liked_ her — Because she was pretty and smart and seemed to have a good heart. And she was still pretty and still smart, and Kai still believed she had a good heart, but he wasn't sure how he was supposed to treat her now. Everyone in the group had forgiven her for cheating, even though it was effectively the reason they were stuck in _Hollow Life._ But Vanessa had been so ruthless in her quest to win back when the two teams first faced off, and she had _used_ him just to try to gain the upper hand, and... Since then, he and Vanessa had mended things pretty well, and he knew she'd never do anything like that again, but it was still incredibly awkward to be around her after everything she'd done, even if he did feel a special connection with her, a profound understanding between the two of them. It was complicated even without introducing the problem of their status. Was Kai still supposed to want to date her? Did she think he was over her or still interested? What did _she_ want? Had she _ever_ seen him as more than a pawn to use in order to win?

Kai still _liked_ her in some sense, but he also didn't think he could ever want to date her again. It felt like they'd formed a connection that transcended his silly crush on her, and it almost felt like it would have been a step backward to pursue her romantically. Besides, even though he couldn't be sure and certainly wasn't about to ask her, he was pretty sure she wasn't interested in him in that way, not one bit.

So it was just easier to be around Vanessa and Reeve when the whole team was together, and it seemed like they felt the same way because they mostly kept to themselves or hung out with one another when the group wasn't all together.

And then there was his original team, the two people with whom Kai felt he'd shared more experiences than anyone else he knew: Mira and Adam.

He could spend hours just talking to Adam and Mira, _would_ spend hours talking to them, would stay up into the wee hours of the morning to watch the sunset with them and never grow tired even once, had done it before and wanted to do it again. They kept him sane in this crazy world, this world where some things simply weren't as real as he was, simply weren't real enough to make him feel like he was alive and not just adrift in some senseless, disjointed dream.

But he hadn't seen either of them in what felt like forever, and it was starting to feel... _Wrong._ It simply felt wrong in some cosmic, profound sense, and try as he might, Kai couldn't think of a better, more descriptive word.

He knew Adam and Mira had been hanging out, but they'd neglected to include him, and seeing them together without him only made him feel even more lonely. He wasn't angry at them — He was _sure_ there was some explanation, sure they weren't moving on from him just like all his other friends back in the real world (whatever that meant) had done over the years, sure they valued him more than that. He was sure there was a story there, he just didn't know what it was, and it was starting to become the only thing he thought about.

Call it fear of missing out, but Kai simply didn't like the idea that Adam might be moving on from him, might only want to spend time with Mira from now on. He didn't think that was true, but he had to know for sure...

_"You can **always** talk to me, Kai. About **anything."**_

He heard Adam's voice in his head again, saying something Adam had said to him more times than he could count, something that always made him feel warm and shaky and happy when Adam said it.

He _hated_ confrontation, but he had to know what was going on! He couldn't take this isolation anymore, not when no one else was quite as real as he was, however real that truly turned out to be. He knew Adam would be honest with him. He knew Adam would explain things. He knew Adam still liked spending time with him... Or at least, he _hoped_ he did.

But texting him felt wrong.

Kai didn't want to _text_ Adam.

He hadn't seen him in weeks!

He wanted to see Adam right now, see him with his own two eyes or at least whatever zeroes and ones simulated his eyes. He wanted to see Adam smile. He wanted to hear Adam's voice in his own ears because, real or not, Adam was as real as it got in _Hollow Life._ Adam was the most real thing in Kai's entire world.

And maybe when Adam told him that he didn't have to worry, that he still liked him, that they were still friends, maybe he'd put his hand on Kai's shoulder like he sometimes did when he was trying to help Kai relax, and his hand was always so warm and so strong and so comfortingly firm, and it always made Kai feel simultaneously _secured_ but also like he was about to fall over, and he never knew _why,_ because Adam was so caring and protective and carried such a powerful presence that it should have only grounded Kai, but for whatever reason, it grounded one half of him and sent the other half soaring, rocketing off into the cosmos, never to be seen again.

It was a feeling like he'd fall, but that it would be okay because Adam would catch him when he did; he _knew_ he would.

But that was just another confusing, jumbled-up set of feelings that Kai didn't understand. The important thing was that he wanted to see Adam.

And he knew Adam would be home because _where else is there to go in Hollow Life?_

So he told Davis he was going to see a friend, and then he walked to Adam's house, something warm propelling him, something bouncing in his stride, soaring in his heart, a skip in his step that seemed to be so much more than that in ways Kai couldn't begin to explain. Adam's house was like a magnet, perfectly polar with his own self, drawing him ever closer.

Before he could even plan what he'd say to Adam, he'd arrived at his house and rung the doorbell, anxiety flaring up beneath his skin as his mind raced to form a presentation of his worries that was at least _somewhat_ coherent and organized.

Within a few moments, the door had swung open, and Kai found himself staring at a rather perplexed Adam.

"Hey, Kai..." he murmured. "What's up?"

Kai watched him rub the back of his neck in that way that he always did when he felt awkward, watched his eyes slide around their field of view like they always did when he wasn't sure what to say. Kai noticed a lot of things Adam did.

"Uh, right, haha, gotta start talking now, don't I?" Kai hurried to say, his usual anxious smile spreading over his face. "I'm sorry I didn't text you before I came! That was, like, super annoying of me!"

The corners of Adam's lips turned up just a bit, just enough that Kai could exhale, could let his shoulders drop just a bit, could know he wasn't really bothered by him. "Kai, it's _fine,"_ he assured him. "If I had a problem with friends dropping by unannounced, I wouldn't _be_ friends with you," he teased.

Kai laughed, and he thought maybe he was laughing a little too hard not to look like an anxious mess, but he also wondered if he ever _didn't_ look like an anxious mess. "Well, I'm glad to hear that!"

He flinched at the sound of his nasally, frantic voice. He wished it was more like Adam's: Strong, confident, and relaxed. It wasn't the _pitch_ of his own voice that bothered him, but the _quality_ of it. It had a tendency to sound like it never knew what it was doing, like Kai never knew what he was going to say until it had already messily tumbled out in a heap of half-formed thoughts and cheesy jokes. He swore he didn't sound as much like that when he was on his own; he _swore_ he didn't.

But hearing Adam's voice was always so reassuring, so strengthening, so comforting. How could anyone listen to it and _not_ stop worrying about everything?

"Of course, Kai," Adam replied, dragging him back into the present. "I always love hanging out with you, whether I know about it in advance... Or you just turn up on my doorstep out of nowhere," he jabbed, giving a light laugh. "Anyway, you never answered me. What's up?"

Kai's eyes flitted to the side, his hand coming up to grip his other elbow. "Can we talk?" he asked.

Adam blinked, his lips parting for a moment, and then he nodded and shut the door behind him, stepping out onto his porch and giving Kai a reassuring smile. "What is it?"

"Well, it's just..." Kai murmured, unable to find the words he wanted.

Adam's hazelnut eyes were so full of care, so full of interest in what he was going to say, and maybe that's what pushed Kai to act on impulse alone, to throw his every wild intuition out into the world for Adam's ears, to simply trust that Adam wouldn't judge him, that Adam would listen, _really_ listen.

"I feel like you maybe don't want to talk to me anymore!" Kai blurted, and he wasn't sure what he wanted to say next, but he kept going, kept thinking as he was talking because that was just how he was, and Adam had never once made him feel stupid for it. "And — And I know you've been hanging out with Mira a lot, but usually the three of us hang out together! And — And I know you two have a friendship that's older than ours, and I know you two are very important to each other, and I know you want to hang out alone sometimes — That's fine! I mean, you and I hang out alone sometimes! Even Mira and I have done that once or twice, and I feel like I get even closer to her when it's just the two of us. I feel like I get to know her even better than I do when it's all three of us. So — So I get it! I, uh, understand that you two can have a deeper connection when it's only you two! It's like how you and I have time to talk about all kinds of things when it's just the two of us that we wouldn't talk about in front of Mira because they'd be boring for her. So I _totally_ understand, dude! I just... Feel like we haven't seen each other at all in... I mean, it feels like it's been _years!_ And... And I just start to worry, like, what if I upset him? Or what if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore? Or what if I'm just too annoying for him? Or —"

 _"Kai,"_ Adam said, his voice every bit as soothing as Kai thought it would be, as soothing as it always was when he helped Kai let go of his anxieties.

And Adam's hand _did_ land on Kai's shoulder just like he'd hoped it would, and his grip was strong, _so_ strong, but it was not for a moment threatening; it was only comforting, only reassuring, so firm in its commitment to stay right on his shoulder and not let anything happen to him, and Kai's nerve endings began to tingle with the warmth of gratitude, gratitude for the fact that he had such a caring, considerate friend, or maybe that was just the warm tingle he _always_ felt beneath his skin when Adam touched him.

"Ehh — Sorry," Kai stammered, his smile growing even as the panic in his heart continued to pump throughout his whole body, rushing through arteries with the force of a tsunami. "I'm talking too much."

"No, Kai, you're not," Adam assured him, his hand sliding ever so slightly to rest on the side of his shoulder more than on top of it. "It's not that. It's just that I'd hate to let you wonder those things for even a moment longer. I want to clear up any and all doubt right here, right now: I'm not trying to ditch you at all."

Kai let the words run over him for a moment, letting the relief build up inside of him before letting it out with a heavy, dramatic sigh. "That's good!" he exclaimed. "I was so worried!"

Adam chuckled, and it made Kai really, really happy, and he wasn't quite sure why. "I could tell. You know... Not to act like you're overreacting, Kai, but you said it felt like we haven't seen each other in years, but we've really only gone a month without hanging out," he reminded him, a smirk forming on his lips.

Adam could tease Kai all he wanted, but it never hurt. Because it never really felt like _teasing,_ at least not in the sense that other people tended to tease Kai. It felt like Adam was just noticing all the weird things about him, and Kai didn't mind that because _of course,_ he knew he was a little weird, and he didn't have a problem with that! But Adam always seemed to _smile_ at every weird thing, every peculiar quirk; that's what was different. Adam always seemed to think they were funny in a way that was appreciative rather than cruel, and it made Kai feel ecstatic and _dreadfully_ nauseous all at once.

"What can I say? It felt like longer," Kai answered, shrugging.

Adam narrowed his eyes, laughing. "I'm glad to hear you missed me."

"I didn't say that!" Kai protested, and, _Oh, god,_ what was that feeling inside his stomach, what was it that felt like it had just done a somersault inside him?

Adam was laughing again, and Kai felt like he might be shaking. He didn't want Adam to have to remind him to breathe again because then he'd just forget _again,_ so he made sure he was breathing and tried to steady his shoulders, offering up his most earnest smile. "...But I _did_ miss you."

"I guess I owe you an explanation," Adam murmured.

"If you don't _mind..."_ Kai urged, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, I've just been hanging out with Mira a lot this month because we kept having other things to do," Adam explained, shrugging.

"Oh, I see," Kai murmured, deflating, sinking down into his own shadow.

"I would have invited you!" Adam blurted, holding out his hand. "Sorry, I should have finished my thought. I would have invited you. We only didn't because we thought you wouldn't want to come with us to these things."

Kai tentatively allowed himself to take up more space, but he still wasn't sure where Adam was going with this explanation, and he didn't want to get his hopes up, only to find out yet another person was just pretending to tolerate his company because they pitied him. "Why wouldn't I have wanted to come?" he asked.

Adam frowned, his eyes drifting around again. "Kai... Well, June is Pride Month," he answered.

Kai narrowed his eyes. "Pride Month?"

"Yeah, like... Gay Pride Month," Adam explained, cocking his head to the side. "For queer people? Sorry, did you not know about that?"

"No, I did!" Kai hurried to answer, not wanting Adam to think he lived under a rock. "I mean, I knew about Pride parades, and I knew they happened in the summer, but I didn't know there was, like, a specific _month."_

 _"Ohhh,"_ hummed Adam. "Yeah, that's fair. Most Pride parades and festivals happen in June, and that's why."

"Is there a reason it's June?" Kai asked, wondering why anyone would want to have a parade in the scorching heat.

"There is," Adam answered. "But it's a long story."

"Would you tell me sometime?" Kai pressed, wanting to show his friend that he cared about something so important to him.

"If you want," Adam replied, smiling.

"Well, anyway, why did you think I wouldn't want to go to all that Pride stuff?" Kai asked, still not sure how this explained Adam's reluctance to spend time with him.

Adam looked conflicted, his brow furrowed and his lips pulled up into a grimace, something flashing in his eyes. "Well..." he murmured, trailing off in a way that was so _not_ Adam, and it only made Kai even more curious as to what could possibly make Adam this unsure of himself. "I guess I just... My past experience has been that most people who _aren't_ queer, especially guys, don't really like to be around that sort of thing," Adam finished, shrugging, holding his hands up. "But since Mira's the first person I ever came out to, and she's been really supportive throughout the whole thing, I've learned that she'll always be there with me, even if _there_ is a Pride parade or something. I just wasn't sure how you'd react to an invitation to something like that. I didn't want to make you feel weird, or... Push you away, or... I don't know," he finished, shaking his head and staring at the ground.

Kai let the words play back inside his head, shooting across synapses again and again as he attempted to make sense of what Adam had said. Kai was one of Adam's best friends, and Adam expected him to be made uncomfortable by acknowledging the fact that Adam was gay or by going to a Pride event with him? And he'd _actually_ had that experience with past friends of his? But Adam must not have thought Kai was a terrible person; no, Adam seemed to talk about such a rotten thing like it was _normal,_ like he expected it from Kai and was saddened by it but didn't _blame_ him for it, like he thought he had to take that, like he thought that was just the way it is.

It made Kai angry at everyone who had ever made Adam feel that way! So, _so_ angry! _Furious!_ How could anybody hurt someone as kind and generous and awesome as Adam? He couldn't understand that, couldn't understand it one bit. How could anyone shame Adam for something so normal — Well, really, Kai actually thought it was _cool,_ cool that Adam lived his life in defiance of an annoyingly large swath of society, that Adam knew who he was and was just going to follow his heart, no matter what anybody thought. How could somebody make him feel bad about that? How could enough people do it that he came to expect that from people who were supposed to be his friends?

"I'm, uh, sorry," Adam stammered, yanking Kai back out of his own head. "I didn't mean to make things awkward."

"Not at all, Adam!" Kai assured him, shaking his head with perhaps too much vigor. "I was just really shocked to hear you say that, that's all! I just think it's really disgusting that you've come to assume most of your friends won't be willing to support you and celebrate your uniqueness right along with you. Not — Not disgusting of _you —_ Of them, I mean," he hurried to add, waving a hand to assure Adam he wasn't trying to be antagonistic. "I'm just really sorry that you ever felt like I'd be that kind of person, and I'm sorry if I ever made you think I would be."

Adam had leaned back in surprise as Kai spoke, blinking as he processed it all. "Wow, Kai, that's..." he struggled. "Really nice to hear you say. And it's nothing _you_ did. I've just... Been around the block, and I make assumptions in an attempt to protect myself," he muttered, giving Kai a small smirk.

But Kai didn't think that was funny, not even a little bit. "I'm so sorry if you've ever lost a friend for such a stupid reason, Adam," he murmured, a heavy ache pounding in his heart.

Adam stepped toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder again, looking him up and down. "Hey, I kept the ones that truly matter to me, right?"

And Kai felt _so sick_ but also so warm and fuzzy, and the sun was too bright, and everything was too _hot,_ and he couldn't _breathe,_ and his shoulder was going up in flames, and —

"I guess it was just a good way to know who was really worth being around," Adam continued, reminding Kai that there was an actual human being here whom he was expected to have a conversation with, regardless of his own internal crisis, whatever it was. "You can come with us next year — If you still want to, that is!"

"Of course!" Kai answered, offering up his widest grin. "I want to see what Adam is like when he's partying!"

"I'm _sure_ you've seen that," Adam protested with a smile, "and it's nothing I'd want to show off."

"No, I haven't!" Kai countered. "We were going to have a party if we beat the game, but obviously..." Kai shrugged, laughing.

"Right, and then we ended up right back here... We've had parties here, though!"

Kai narrowed his eyes. "Come on, dude, just because all five of us are there, doesn't mean it's a party! I want to see Adam _unhinged!"_

Adam laughed, shaking his head. "You don't; it's _awkward."_

"I'm sure it isn't," Kai pushed. _"Everything_ you do is cool."

Adam's smile grew, and Kai's heart began to beat faster again just when it had started to calm down. "Thanks, Kai. That means a lot."

"Except for fighting with Reeve about something that turned out to be kinda irrelevant," Kai added, smirking.

"Hey, I've already apologized for that," Adam reminded him, laughing at himself, reminding Kai just how much humility he usually had. "That wasn't me. That was me after being stuck in a video game full of things that could kill me or you or Mira at any moment for _wayyyy_ too long. A lot of people would go a little... _Whatever_ I went."

"I know, Adam. I'm just kidding!" Kai assured him. "We all forgive you."

Adam nodded. "Thanks, Kai. I'm so lucky to have friends like you. It's only because I know we're all safe now that I'm not acting like that anymore. It's only because I know we'll all be okay and that we'll be able to help each other get through living what's going to be... A really different life."

"That's why I missed you so much," Kai murmured, still grinning. "I go _crazy_ when I don't see you guys for a while."

"Then I'll make sure we don't let that happen again," Adam assured him. "And now that Pride Month is over, we'll all hang out more again. I promise."

 _"Yes!"_ yelled Kai, pumping his fist. "The Gang is back together! And you'll let me go with you to the Pride stuff next year, right?"

"If you really want to," Adam replied, nodding.

Kai shrugged. "Call it fear of missing out, I guess... I just want to be there for you as your friend."

"Of course, Kai," Adam answered, smiling at first, but then his brow furrowed, and he looked off the side. "I mean...If _Hollow Life_ triggers the Pride events properly again next year, then of course. I don't know why it wouldn't since Weirdy acted like this was _almost_ the full, complete game — But I don't really know how buggy it'll become as time goes on..."

Kai shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. And besides, even if the special NPCs and events or whatever they have for it don't work, we'll just throw our _own_ Pride for you," he promised, wrapping his arms around Adam and squeezing him like his life depended on it, compelled by the bubbly, pleasant dizziness spinning through his head, the electricity that always tingled underneath his skin when he was with Adam.

Adam laughed, hugging back, doing that thing he always invisibly did, the one that somehow made Kai feel both more relaxed and unbelievably closer to fainting all over the other boy. "I'm really lucky to have such a great friend, Kai. Thank you — _Really."_

Kai just hummed back, so glad he could make his friend feel appreciated, so glad he could help him untie the knots his old friends had tied in his heart by betraying him.

Kai really liked being around Adam. It made his heart feel warm and his stomach feel funny but in the _best_ way, and Kai would do anything to make Adam as happy as he made him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know if you'd like to see this story continued and expanded upon :)
> 
> (Tfw you _meant_ to write a character who barely even notices how queer they are and then you _accidentally_ end up shoving references to it all over the place pff — Like Kai was originally supposed to be wayyy less aware of it, but... I'm happier with this bi-panic-filled version of the story lol)


End file.
